Friday, April 30, 2010


My dysfunction today involves shopping.  Well, it wasn't actually supposed to involved shopping.  It was supposed to involve me going into Lane Bryant and collecting my free pair of Cacique panties and leaving.  (You still have 3 more days to get in on this if anyone is here.)

But I am indecisive, very indecisive.  If I see a bunch of good choices in front of me I just can never tell what the BEST one of those is.  So I wander around looking at my options (plain color only), and seeing all the others that aren't my option, and really liking them better.  Then I see that there is a sale.  5 for $29.  If you get the non plain color that's like getting 3 free.  Who can pass up 3 free pair of underwear? 

Not me, that's who.  So much for for the free shopping trip, but really that's their goal isn't it?  But now I don't have to pick just one, I have to pick 6 (my 5 + the free one).  Ok, who thought THAT was a good idea???  That only makes it harder.  So I'm searching and searching, thinking it really shouldn't be so hard, I mean nobody but me is going to see them, and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they aren't going to look as cute on me as they do laying on the table.  My daughter is totally unimpressed by this shopping adventure and can't understand why we can't just leave and go get lunch.

There are 2 other women there with their free coupons in hand as well.  One lady took about 2 minutes to choose the one (and only one!) she wanted.  What's up with that?  Why am I incapable of that?  The other lady...she took some to the dressing room to try on.  Ummm...ewww.  I mean, I get it (you want to make sure they are the right size/fit, and the saleslady did remind her she needed to keep on her own undergarments)...but, but I don't get it.  Ok, well really my problem with this is totally my own issue.  I would be mortified to try on underwear and bring them back to the table if I didn't like them.  Why?  Because I would be afraid you could tell they were tried on, like they'd somehow be stretched out twice as big as they are supposed to be.  Seriously, you couldn't get more humiliating than that, right?  No matter if there was no perceptible difference at all, I would still see them as humongous.

I wonder if skinny chicks overthink stuff like this, or maybe it's just because I'm a fat chick, or maybe I'm just some sort of freak.  But, really...please tell me I'm not the only one who thinks trying on underwear is kinda weird?


Kristina said...

We might as well be the same person. LOL.
The last time I went to Victoria's Secret with a free panty coupon I had intentions of getting the free one two more pairs and at least ONE or TWO cute bras, preferably that matched.
Uh huh.
I walk in and I am like a deer in headlights. They show these posters of these impossibly waify, TRASHY looking girls...and I start to feel all frumpy...and then NOTHING is in my size: bras are all too big, panties all too small...or too many choices in color.
I was in there an HOUR and only through my friend's intervention did I end up buying anything.
The next time I got a free coupon in the mail--I kid you not--I gave it to my friend and she picked up my free panties for me because I am so incapable of conquering my body images AND incapable of making a decision.
Lingerie stores seem to be the perfect intersection of all of my insecurities.
Hope this makes you feel a little better. lol

Tracy said...

Trying on underwear is a no go! seriously! I've only ever tried on a ridiculously expensive corset and only because it was ridiculously expensive. Still that was nothing compared to trying on underwear! LOL

I never go in a store and leave with just what I went to get.

Anonymous said...

Yup, definitely weird!LOL! I know I try on bras, but not undies.

Melanie said...

you aren't alone with the disinclination to try on underwear. I mean, I do try on bras because the times I don't I come home with a bra that shapes me so weirdly that I seem to have a breast under each arm and they get super pointy. WTH, who comes up with THAT? But undies, um, no. I know my size and I choose the less of the two embarrassments when I pick up and stretch the bejeebers out of the undies in the center of the store.
I forgot to get mine, I'll have to go tomorrow. It's hard to resist a deal, but I can't fathom spending $29 on 5 pair. I get 4 pair for $6 at a discount place. I'm cheap. *shrug*