Wednesday, February 13, 2008

You wanna know one of the worst things about being fat?

Bras!! They just suck when you're fat. I dunno, maybe its just me, but they are just NEVER comfortable, they dig in here and there, I feel like I'm always adjusting them, and the wires are ALWAYS breaking on me, ugh! (And yes I've measured a gazillion times to make sure I'm wearing the right size.)

Anyway, this past weekend I went bra shopping. I'd been wearing cheapy, stretched out, saggy nursing bras that had as much support as a wet noodle for way too long. K is only nursing very early in the morning when I'm not even wearing a bra, so I decided it was time. I also decided to skip the Walmart bras I usually get and spend the money to go back to wearing really GOOD ones.

I went into 2 plus-size stores and all they had were padded bras! Come on, I have enough as it is, I don't need MORE. And really, don't most women who'd need to go to a plus size store have plenty of breastage?? Seriously, so those women wearing a size 46G WANT padding???

I finally found a couple styles sans stuffing at Lane Bryant, but still my selection was pretty poor. So, I caved in and tried a couple padded ones on. Big mistake!! It was a very scary sight, nobody needs boobs that big! Ok, well I'm sure there are some women who come by it naturally, but nobody needs to purposely make them that big!

I guess there's worse things than wearing only one style of bra for the rest of your life. Hmmm...guess that's just another reason I should get my arse in gear and lose some weight.

Anyway, I make my purchases and despite the sparse selection was very happy. I even went into the bathroom and put one on right away, depositing the ratty nursing one that had less support than my shirt in the trash on my way out. I felt pretty and perky for the first time in a long time, LOL.

But then, I started to realize the ONE good thing about the wireless bras I'd been wearing...they don't STAB you in the armpits over and over and over again! Maybe I'm the only one with this problem, but the wires are always way too long and whenever I sit or reach down they poke into me really hard. About halfway through a day I want to rip the bra off because its so irritating.

So my bra revelry was short lived. Perky isn't a whole lot of fun when your pits are bruised. *sigh*

Monday, February 11, 2008

Hello, my name is Amanda, and I am a slacker...

But you knew that already, right? *sigh* I was doing so well with my workouts in January, I met my goal of 21 out of 30 days, I was actually liking to work out and wanting to work out...I was feeling good! And then February came. Not sure what happened, but I just don't have the motivation anymore. I feel like such a slug. I need a big 'ole kick in the rear, cuz if I don't stop slacking soon February is going to be a total wash in the weight loss department.

I'm also a total slacker house keeper. But you knew that already too. I had to frantically clean the kitchen and part of the living room last week just so that it was presentable enough for the maintenance guy to come in and fix a leak. R is getting his pics taken here next Tuesday for that newsletter thing and I'm already stressing about it. One of the boards I frequently read/post on has been down for over a week and will be until Saturday. I'm suffering withdrawals! I thought I'd get more done around the house without the biggest part of my internet addiction...but alas not even that is enough to get me up off my butt and clean.

I hate this apartment., I don't. Can't forget my resolution to think more positively. This apartment is wonderful, it really, really, really is.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

From "never gonna be good enough" to "poster child"...

So anyone remember all the crap I had to go through in order to get R into that hospital feeding program? In short it took forever, they didn't think he was ready and constantly made up new reasons when called on the ridiculousness of their previous ones, I could never get any info from anybody, they kept making us jump through all these hoops and when we did would still say R wasn't ready, yadda, yadda, yadda. They finally let him in but I'm certain a huge part of their decision to do that was based upon the fact that they were sick of my bitching to them all the time about their incompetancy and hypocrisy.

Of course, he goes through the program and lo and behold a miracle occurs!! He started at 100% tube fed and ended at 0% tube fed. In the room with these people who didn't think he was even nearly ready for their program the air was so thick with the shock at how well he did and with the pleasure in themselves you could slice it. He has now been completely off of tube feedings for almost 6 full months. I bet they are still patting themselves on the back...

Really, I'm trying not to be bitter, I AM thankful that my son is eating, but at the same time these people really ticked me off and still irritate me beyond belief and I can't let it go. No, that's not it...I just don't want to, LOL.

Ooooh, but now guess what they want to do??? Put his story on the front page of a newsletter for the hospital!!! This newsletter that goes out to the people who give them money to run the program! Whaddyaknow! The director of the program keeps making sure that I've spoken to the woman in charge of R's story, she REALLY wants him to be on the cover. Shocker!

I *might* feel a bit better if any of them would admit they were totally wrong, oh and apologize for not letting him in a year earlier the first time they evaluated...yeah right, not gonna happen!