Monday, October 20, 2008

Why my hair is long...

So my friend Tina made a comment on my last post regarding how I make goals and work towards them. I only wish that were true!

The truth is...I do make goals, I make lots of them, but I rarely ever reach them. I'll be all gung ho for a short time and then I get bored or discouraged or too busy or whatever other random excuse I have and things fizzle out.

If you've known me for any length of time you will have known me to have pretty much the same hairstyle that varies in length from my shoulders to a few inches past. Sometimes bangs, sometimes not, but always about the same length. Boring? Yes. But I'm a freak about my hair ok, for many reasons...but that really isn't the point right now so I won't go into it.

My whole life I wanted to grow my hair really long. Well, that's not true, my hair WAS really long, when I was like 5. And then all I wanted was it cut off, my mom didn't want me to do it, she made my aunt take me into to the salon, she cried, it was all very traumatic for her and liberating for me. (My hair is very thick and when she'd comb it it was hard to get through all the tangles and she'd pull it and I'd scream and it was just horrible, I hated it.)

Anyway, back on topic... I have always tried growing my hair and just got so sick of it in that in-between stage that I'd chop it all off again. Never could I get remotely close to my hair growing goal because it annoyed me so much.

Well, I decided a while back that THIS time was going to be different. I didn't care how much I hated it I was going to grow it as long as I wanted, and if I still hated it when it got there THEN I could chop it off...but I WAS going to make it. I have been tempted many, many times to cut it. It has annoyed me immensely quite often. I've complained to C about it so often I'm sure he's sick of hearing about my hair. He's probably just sick of my hair in general because there's just SO much of it.

Now as much as I've really wanted to chop it off I've really made my hair a symbol of my life success. Yes I see how that sounds terribly shallow and ridiculous, but hear me out... I just have this intense feeling that for once in my life I HAVE to stick with something long enough to reach my goal, even if the journey is long and difficult...no, especially if the journey is long and difficult. If I can't do at least ONE thing from beginning to end then I'll never be able to do anything...and if I can do that one thing then I know I will be able to actually accomplish all the other things I want to. If I can fight temptation and distraction and irritation on this one thing, I'll be able to take that commitment on to other (and admittedly more important) areas of my life.

So, as stupid as it may be to have growing my hair long as a life changing event...that is exactly what it is!

And now you know.

1 comment:

Tina said...

You do not give your self enouth credit! How many of us go through life not setting any goals. Sometimes (especially with children) the goal we set at the beginning changes in between here and there or is not worth the cost. But at other times it is. We have to choose when it is. I can't wait to see how long your hair is when you reach your goal! I feel your pain as my hair is also very thick. You continue to inspire me and help me know I am not alone on the path with kiddos and a husband who works a lot.