Resolutions...

Does anyone make New Year's Resolutions anymore?? I don't even know why I bother to make them, or even think about them...I never accomplish them. Oh sure I have good intentions for a few weeks, but the bad habits always win out in the end.

If I were to resolve to do anything this year it would be...

1. Lose weight. Just like every other year for the last half of my life. Maybe I should change it to "Not gain any more weight." If I set my expectations low enough I just might accomplish what I really need to do.

2. Keep my house clean for more than a week at a time. Seriously? Why would I say that, do I even KNOW myself...do I even KNOW my kids...and the dog, and my husband?? Not gonna happen.

3. Spend less time on the computer and more time with my kids. But I've said that for the past several years and I keep going more and more insane...maybe not such a good idea, hiding from my life on the internet could be more beneficial to their well-being.

4. Get more sleep. Ok, THIS is a good one that I should really try for since I've been beyond sleep deprived for over a year. Now if only K would comply I'd be good to go...

5. Get a job. As much as the idea of having even MORE responsibilities piled on me when I'm already totally overwhelmed...and as much as the idea of getting some crappy job in retail or food just for the paycheck makes me want to puke...I need to suck it up and find a way to help us get out of the hole.

6. Find a way to be happy with the life that we've been given. How does that song go...if you can't have the one you want, love the one you're with. Life has dealt us a lot of shitty cards the past few years and not many good ones. But I'm tired of being miserable about everything, I'm tired of wanting what I don't have. I'm tired of feeling like we've put our happiness and our lives on hold just waiting for things that may never happen. I need to stop thinking about how much everything sucks and look for the good, no matter how small it may be. I need to change my thinking and my mind set to a more positive one. I need to stop living for the "ifs" and "mights" and just deal with what is.

So there you have it, a list of what I would do this year if I had enough self-motivation and self-control to go through with it. Only time will tell what I'll actually accomplish.

And my wish to everyone out there...have a very happy and virtuous 2008!!

So its Christmas Eve...

And we're back to celebrating all by our lonely, miserable selves. Granted we didn't want to travel this year after doing it two years in a row, and granted we have absolutely no money to go anywhere even if we wanted to...but still. It always makes me sad for my kids when holidays come and its just us.

I didn't have the biggest or most loving family growing up, but there were always holiday gatherings with lots of yummy food and goodies. Lots of talking and sometimes movies or game playing. Lots of laughing and joking around. All that times two since mine & my mom's and my step-father's families all lived close.

But because we have no one here and are generally the most boring (and broke) people in the world...my poor, neglected children get to celebrate by sitting around at home all day long doing nothing. To them, Christmas is basically just about getting gifts because we either can't afford or aren't creative enough to do anything else. Every year I vow to change that, but every year something always gets in the way. And I suppose I don't have anyone to blame but myself. Someday, someday...

Merry Christmas everyone!!